Two Asian men lying side by side. How to deal with a breakup by Stephanie Ambrosius

Separation Counselling

What is Separation Counselling?

Separation or divorce counselling works on the assumption that the relationship is at a stage where both partners cannot continue in a romantic relationship together. This gives both partners the space to examine their relationship without the pressure to ‘fix’ it. Without this pressure, honesty and openness can often replace blame and anger.

If a partner is hesitant about their decision to separate or divorce, counselling is an opportunity to unpack some of the issues in a non- judgmental, safe space. It can be an opportunity for both partners to ask each other questions about the relationship. If one partner has decided to leave and the other has not, the work has a ‘split agenda’ which requires an experienced couples counsellor. 

Our breakup is final and where do we go from here?

The decision to end a relationship is usually very difficult. Both partners may go through a range of painful emotions making the breakup intolerable. No matter how hard you try, it isn’t always possible to save or rebuild a relationship or marriage. However, counselling for separating couples can make the change more bearable.

When you separate from your partner or spouse, you might need to work out things like:

  • where you’re going to live
  • how to divide up any money or belongings you share

  • whether you’ll be able to afford to pay the bills once you’re living separately

  • where your children will live and how often they’ll see the parent they don’t live with



If children are involved, breaking up as smoothly as possible can make a world of difference to them. Separation counselling can provide a safe, non-judgemental space where you can negotiate the various complexities of your breakup.  Counselling can also help you with the ongoing challenges of brining up children by separated parents. 

Here are two links that you may find helpful:

Ending A Relationship

Keeping Children Safe


Photo by Hà Nguyễn on Unsplash